One of the most treasured relationships you could have is one of love and understanding. Being around a person with such an overwhelming presence can allow you to become the same way. The day I met Ronald was the day I knew my life would change for the better. Ronald and I were introduced by my brother and from that moment on we were inseparable. I couldn’t believe that I found someone that was as goofy and silly as me but always knew when to be serious and understanding. I first realized that Ronald would forever be in my heart was when I over heard him talking to some of his friends when we went out for the night to the movies. I wandered off and come back to hear a conversation occurring between him and about four of his friends. All Ronald’s friends kept telling him that they couldn’t believe he was going out with me and that we would never stay together in the long run because of our age. Everything I heard about our relationship was negative but at the same time positive when his friends spoke of how lucky Ronald was. The only thing on my mind at the time was that these are the same people that talk to me every day about how I would be a good girlfriend and they are so nice to me but now they doubt how good I can be to someone. I felt hurt but I would never let such small comments get to me especially after I met the most amazing person in the world. As I continued to ease drop on their conversation, Ronald cut everyone off and said that I was the girl was always looking for and he could never see me being the person that his friends were describing. He went on to say that out relationship is going to work out and even if it doesn’t he would do anything in his power to make it work out. I never imagined in all my days to here a boy talk about a girl that way. He even told them that he really cared about me and could end up falling in love with me. After hearing that I gliding right next to him, very suavely and played liked I hadn’t heard their discussion and gave him a loving kiss on the cheek. He gave me a look of surprise and asked if I missed him while I was gone, so I replied yes when I was really kissing him for saying such good things about me even when I wasn’t there. I had a smile on my face all night even when we had to walk home from the movies. What topped off the night was when we stopped at a gas station so I could pee and buy two
Monday, September 15, 2008
project #1
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3 comments:
hey sammie! i really like the way you wrote your essay but i'll say that you miss to write what was your believe about.
But i can tell its about love or a important treasure.,anyway try to put it somewhere what your really trying to persuade with.
And i have to say that i dont know how old are you, but i can tell that you're really mature and you know how to handle things that maybe people at your age wouln't.
It's really cool how you describe everything that happen with him, and even how you try to get the reader into your text putting what everybody was saying.
Your missing some punctuation but the rest its really good.
well done.
sorry! try to write somewhere what's your believe.
like that you can persuade or guide the reader a little bit more.
i just had to explain myself. in the first comment was a little crazy the idea.
I agree with the comments already that there is not a clear belief being articulated and explored here. Since there is a severe reversal at the end of your essay, readers might feel a bit cheated or confused as to why you spent so much time talking about the connection between you two.
Unless your belief is that young people don't really know what love is, I'm not sure readers will understand the point of the story as it is being told right now. what other beliefs do you see being supported by this story? Once you decide this, you can determine what in this essay can be kept or not.
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